Driving in Seoul

Almost every car that you see here has signs of having been in an accident, diving is almost like bumper cars, and no one seems to care too much when they smash into someone else.
So I was going to write a post about the horrible driving in Seoul (I will never complain about Sudbury drivers again), but then I found a great tongue in cheek article online. So I will just add it here for you to read:

Normal sight of a car driving on the sidewalk

Street Survival in Seoul
or: Becoming a Road Scholar

By Curtis Desjardins

Tips for the Motorcycle/Scooter Driver

• It's important to wear protective clothing. T-shirts, shorts, and open-toe-sandals would be considered appropriate.
• Ride against traffic whenever possible.
• If you're not riding on the street, ride on the sidewalks like you damn well own them (pedestrians must make way for YOU; you have the "I'm a motorized vehicle and you're not" rule of right-of-way on your side).
• When leaving the sidewalk to ride on the streets (against traffic), make sure you rocket out between two parked cars.
• If there are no parked cars in your vicinity, it is perfectly lawful to run pedestrians down at the nearest crosswalk.
• Overload the back of your scooter with a heavy, unwieldy package
• ...and ride one-handed
• ...while carrying a huge box of take-out food in the other hand
• ...with your two-year-old daughter standing up in front of you, holding the speedometer to keep her balance
• ...and don't give her a helmet.
• During times of heavy traffic (read: at all times) weave in and out of stationary and slow-moving cars. Removal of any pesky side mirrors getting in your way is expected.

Tips for the Average Driver

• First thing: don't let those scooter drivers get away with any of the cheap tricks outlined above. Your car outweighs them by 20 times, so don't take any of their crap.
• Change lanes at every opportunity. Don't bother with shoulder checks, that's what mirrors are for (Duh, gee Beav, what's a blind spot?).
• Use mirrors for reversing, too.
• No parking spaces? Bah. Double park.
• Still no parking spaces? Bah. Triple park
• Still no parking spaces? Bah. Run over pedestrians on the sidewalk and park over their cooling carcasses (it's their own fault getting in your way; after all, you DO have the car).
• U-turn at every given opportunity
• ...during rush-hour gridlock
• ...with the widest turn radius you can manage
• ...and use the sidewalks if you have to.
• Keep a cellular phone in your left hand at all times, supergluing it if necessary.
• Never use your brakes; it shows weakness. Just lay on the horn and accelerate around the problem.
• Those lines on the road? Just very loose guidelines (a "two lane" highway can easily fit three, and even four abreast).
• Crosswalks? Just pretty road decorations.
• Always pass slower cars on their left side, even if doing so will bring you over the yellow divider.
• One-way streets are one-way for everyone but you.
• Red light, schmed light, just go whenever you damn well feel like it.
• And if you become lost (with Korea's lack of roadsigns and street names this is not a possibility, but an eventuality) stop in the middle of the road and gawk around until you decide that, yes, you are in fact lost
• ...then flag down another motorist to ask directions, and block up the remaining lane
• ...and ignore the honking masses behind you, as they shouldn't be in such a hurry anyway. Don't they know "Speed Kills?"
• Never wear a seatbelt. Windshields will stop you most of the time.
• If a taxi driver insists you wear a seatbelt, GET OUT immediately. Any taxi driver so unsure of his driving is sure to get you killed.

http://www.mathnews.uwaterloo.ca/Issues/mn500/curtis.php